GONK FM
More fluff. Less fuss.
ON AIR: Merry Gonkmas Special
The only station where the cocoa’s hot, the beards are long, and the elves are officially out of a job.
A full Christmas radio special: original songs, jingles, comedy ads, call-ins, and one extremely fuzzy gonk called Gary.
Listen to the full special
Open on YouTube →Coming to Spotify soon (via DistroKid) — this is the original “press play and leave it on” cut.
Tracklist
Full broadcast order — including ads, call-ins, and bonus tracks.
01
Welcome to GONK FM
02
Gonks on the Shelf
03
Gonk Around the Christmas Tree
04
GONK FM - Ad Break
05
The 12 Gonks of Christmas
06
Silent Gonk
07
GONK FM - Shelf Shout-outs
08
Gonkshop Bop
09
One More Sleep till Gonkmas
10
GONK FM - Ad Break + Gonk or Not
11
The Ballad of Gary the Gonk
12
GONK FM - Phone In
13
Let It Gonk!
14
Gonkstar
15
All I Want for Christmas Is Gonk
16
Merry Gonkmas
17
GONK FM - Bonus Tracks Intro
18
Carol of the Gonk (Bonus)
19
Christmas Rap Battle (Bonus)
20
GONK FM - Outro
A word from our sponsors
Totally real. Extremely trustworthy. Definitely not made up.
Nordic No. 5 Beard Wax™
Cocoa-resistant. Elf-repellent. Shelf-approved.
*GONK FM is not responsible for beard-related incidents.
GonkSure™ Holiday Insurance
Covering fire, frost & unfortunate felt flattenings.
*GONK FM is not responsible for beard-related incidents.
Rent-A-Gonk™
Pre-fluffed, mildly judgemental, arrives before the in-laws.
*GONK FM is not responsible for beard-related incidents.
Shelf Safety Council of America
Secure your shelves. Respect the beard.
*GONK FM is not responsible for beard-related incidents.